Starbucks’ “The Way I See It” campaign has been one of the best examples of “influence” I’ve seen. It’s another way for Starbucks to add to the experience and give someone one more thing to look forward to when they get their cup of coffee.

What are you doing to subtly influence others?

I read an interesting article today that answers the question, “What inspires people to take NLP training?”

Here is a paragraph from it, and it’s an article worth reading:

“For a start, NLP training provides an in depth understanding of NLP itself. Neuro-linguistic programming (or NLP) is essentially the study of excellence and understanding how and why those who excel in their fields do so.”

Read the full article here

Metaphors. That’s the secret.

Surprised? You shouldn’t be. Using metaphors appeals the your prospects or customers right brain. It helps them visualize, instantly relate, and connect the dots to what you are saying or recommending. And it’s memorable.

The process behind a recommendation that’s rephrased framed with a metaphor is actually simple.

First, ask yourself: What am I actually recommending?

Second, determine the problem your recommendation will solve.

Third, run through various possible metaphors, selecting the one that communicates most clearly and vividly what you’re urging.

For example, let’s say you are recommending that your team goes through some team building training to improve collaboration on projects. The problem to be solved is lack of communication, morale, and productivity. Here is a sample metaphor you could use:

“It will move us from a company of stray shooters to a team of marksmen.”

Here is another example. You are recommending someone replace their current software system with the one you are selling. The problem is the old system is too slow. An example of a metaphor you could use is:

“When we’re done, it will be like replacing a horse and buggy with a Porsche.”

How can you work on this? Just follow these steps each time:

Step 1 – List out a recommendation you’ve recently made to a client.

Step 2 - What problem does it solve ?

Step 3 -What metaphor can make that recommendation more vivid in your customer’s mind?

Resource: You learned how to construct metaphors in your Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner training. David Gordon’s book on Therapeutic Metaphors is a great place to start, and while not overtly so in the book itself, it’s just as practical for business applications as it is therapy.

It’s easy to tell when your prospect or customer is talking to themselves because they will often lean their head to one side, nestling it on their hand or fist. Some call this the “telephone position” because the posture often resembles talking on the phone. Looking down to the left or right while doing this is also a good indication of someone talking to themselves.

NLP teaches us to track eye movements and calibrate the responses. Once you’ve calibrated their eye movements (don’t just rely on the “eye movement chart”) you can then adapt your language to pace their thinking.

Examples of what you might say include:

“Well, when you say to yourself…”

“When you tell yourself…”

“What do you tell yourself when…”

“What if you told yourself…”

With all there is to see and do, there’s really no excuse for boredom.

Maybe it’s just a symptom. Or perhaps it’s a sign of creative starvation. It’s really just a pattern. You can interrupt it at any time.

Don’t settle for boredom. Get up. Get going. Do something. Start a project. Call a friend or family member. Write something down. Build something. Anything is better than more of of the nothing that doesn’t stimulate you.

Sam Harrison tells the story:

An old man witnessed a traffic accident, and in court the defense attorney tried to discredit his testimony.

“Mr. Johnson, I see you are wearing thick glasses,” said the lawyer.

“Yes sir, I do.”

“And you’re up in age, aren’t you?

“Yes sir, proudly, I’m 84 in May.”

“So exactly how far can you see, Mr. Smith?”

The old guy thought for a minute, “Well, sir, I can see the moon. How far is that?”

Don’t ever underestimate observation’s reach. What are you [not] noticing? What are you focused on, habitually when watching people? Honing your NLP skills starts with noticing more, focusing on what others aren’t and paying attention to people’s behaviors, patterns, and beliefs.

The short answer is yes. Watching (and learning from) this video below, you will quickly see why he’s one of the most successful actors of our times. I invite all NLPer’s to listen to his language patterns, where his focus is, notice his physiology, and perhaps the most important thing to model is his attitude.

I state frequently in my blog, the gift that Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) gives us, is the skills to model successful people and their patterns. That is where NLP got it’s roots. Too many people think NLP is just about using the techniques and forget that it’s more than that. It’s an attitude towards discovering and learning how to achieve excellence. From that will come the methods, the techniques.

While most people know that movies such as “I am Legend”, “Ali”, “Hancock”, “The Pursuit of Happyness”, and “Hitch” helped make him one of the highest movie grossing actors, Entertainment Weekly recently named him one of the “Top 15 Entertainers of the Decade.”

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) gives us amazing linguistic ingredients for crafting our language with purpose in front of each customer we approach.

What type of language shifts submodalities and uses presuppositions of TIME?

from now on, then, when, while, endless, everlasting, prolong, past, yet, stop, still, in the meantime, in the future, long waiting, look back, before, after, once, anytime now, now, finally, presently, elapse, accelerate, and the list goes on.

Example: “After you see the results, you’ll look back feeling even more confidence then you did when when the decision was made.

What type of language shifts submodalities and uses presuppositions of SPACE?

in front of, along side of, in place of, above, aside from, in addition to, below, increase, instead of, disappear from, between, closer, behind, bring forward, against, beside, bigger, blow over, across, in back of, bring together, add more, inside of, and the list goes on.

Example: What if you could see along side of every problem is a solution, in fact many solutions?

Resource Book: An Insiders Guide to Sub Modalities

One of the foundational skills of NLP that you begin to hone in NLP Practitioner training (and beyond) is that of pattern detection. Once your sensory acuity sharpens, you can start to apply your new pattern detection skills in a variety of ways.

One of them is in identifying when someone is lying.

A person’s mouth is just one thing to watch when someone might be lying. Whether it’s a subtle covering of the mouth while making a statement, swallowing or gulping at a seemingly inappropriate time, or an inappropriate smile or facial express, all are used to calibrate against a lie.

These tiny physiological signals involving the mouth, often unperceived because they occur so quickly and seem natural, are at times what can be called unconscious “micro-signals.”

Throat clearing in response to a question or statement usually signified disagreement to something that is said or asked, or an uncomfortableness with an unprepared answer to follow.

Gulping is usually a sign of nervousness, which should lead you to question the reason or source for that nervousness.

One of the more obvious signals (but most often overlooked) is when someone tries to cover up their words. Literally. A person will cover their mouth with his or her hand as if scratching or yawning. If someone finds an excuse to rub their lips, scratch their mouth or nose, run an index finger under their nose, or in some other way cause their hand to come between lips and face, it’s typically an outright lie being spoken.

NLP places a lot of emphasis on values. Although the process of eliciting values is relatively simple, it does require some verbal dexterity to do it well, with rapport and grace.

When you are trying to uncover and reach people at deeper levels, rapport is required and maintaining rapport during “tough questions” is sometimes not the easiest art.

The process is simple and like many NLP patterns, are never only what they seem. There is alway more to it.

There’s really only one question to ask, but for variety you can create as many different versions of this question as possible.

So what’s the question?

Question to elicit values:  “What’s important to you about ________?”  or “What’s important to you in a ____________?”

When they answer, you can laterally chunk by asking “What else is important?” This will give you additional values.

You can also chunk down by asking, “What’s important to you about that?”

Another way to say it is, “What would that do for you?” or “What would you get out of that?”

This line of questioning will help you dig deeper, particularly when their answers are big chunks.

If the word chunks is grossing you out, chances are you haven’t studied a lot of NLP yet. Chunking refers to the level of detail (big chunks, little chunks).

I also like to end with the question, “Is there anything I’ve missed?” Customers will answer this, particularly when there has been something on their mind they haven’t got to tell you yet. This is when it’s unveiled.

On a future video, I’ll give examples of how this line of questioning sounds – because tone is everything in maintaining the rapport.

Watch this video -- all of it. You will be shocked (and shouldn’t be) by what you see. And by what other people don’t. The concept of change blindness (not being aware of big changes right in front of our eyes) is fascinating. A big part of NLP study is learning how to pay attention and developing your sensory acuity skills. Some people have a long way to go as you will notice (I hope) in this video. Enjoy, Joe